My sister and I finally have “the talk” we’ve been avoiding, because although my sister’s acceptance means everything to me — I’ve never been sure that I’ve had it.
Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed
Almost five years ago to the day, I came out to my twin sister while she was studying abroad in Italy. In a rambling group Facebook message, after a series of incomplete sentences and written stutters, I finally wrote, "I am attracted to girls, but I am not gay." Two best friends replied immediately with supportive messages. From my sister, I received…radio silence. Life doesn't stop while you're waiting for your sister to message you back, so before long I was taking a boy to my sorority formal and that rambling message was just a memory.
Growing up in a family with eight siblings and being one of triplets (always one tallish brunette brother to my right and one shortish blonde sister to my left), it's easy to assume that my triplet sister and I would be closer than close.
And we were. I mean...we are close. Over the years, we've shared bedrooms, clothes, car keys, and a group of friends. What don't we share? Pretty much everything else. I inherited my dad's tight brown ringlets while Hayley gets her straight blonde locks from our mom. Friends might call me "down-to-earth, mellow, and overly sensitive," and Hayley would be described as "bubbly, loud, and a tad high maintenance." While I spent time volunteering as an EMT, she once passed out into a bowl of spaghetti over the mention of blood. When we left home for college, I studied science in the Midwest; Hayley went down south to pursue a degree in English. Despite never quite being able to see eye-to-eye, we've managed to stand loyally at each other's sides.
Fast-forward to the present day — a few relationships, sisterly shouting matches, and two college degrees later — and not much has changed. Somehow we are back to sharing a bedroom, if you can call two twin beds separated by a cheap Ikea drawer set a bedroom. We are still sharing clothes (unwillingly) and a group of overlapping friends (more willingly). And we still have not discussed the time I came out of the closet to her and she had nothing to say.
As I'll be sleeping across from my sister for another year in this shoebox apartment, I decided to sit down over some sushi and finally have "the talk" we've been avoiding, because although my twin sister's acceptance means everything to me, I've never been sure that I've had it.
Sarah Karlan